Today’s Stoner Word: Titration

 

In the Day, we didn’t have all these names to deal with. It was basically whatever your dealer had like Mexican or Jamaican, or some other exotics, but for the most part, we didn’t have more than ten names to remember. Beyond the actual plant title, the best designation that could be given to any stuff around that time was, this is ‘two-hit Shit.’

        Two-hit Shit meant that exactly. For the unbelievers, if you took that third puff, you were holding to the throw rug in the middle of the living room floor like paranoid Robinson Crusoe holding onto the edge of an island. Two-hit Shit could put you away in a couple of tokes. So you would tell your friends, “only take two drags, and then see what happens.”

        We would call this WEED, ‘The Creeper Weed.’ For the obvious reason, that this kind of Pot would start like a Disney Movie with bluebirds rolling you a joint then morph into the Exorcist with the bed shaking and your head spinning like a Maytag in the heat-cycle.

        And in essence, growing up around Dopers, that was really the extent of the medical advice one would receive concerning Pot intake.

        “It’s two-hit Shit, Man. I’m serious.”

        In about another month, California is going to approve Proposition 19. If it does pass, lookout for the Anti-Pot people to get real legal on our asses with loopholes and trying any way they can to stop us from smoking our WEED.

        One of the many attacks that they will use is, “Marijuana these days is much stronger than the Marijuana that we grew up with.” Very true and thank who ever has upped the THC factor. God or Growers, thank who ever.

        Here’s a little trick I’ve learned from smoking the two-hit Shit. Take two hits and put the joint down. Okay, that might have gone by rather quickly. After lighting the joint or filling the vape bag, take only a couple of hits of the smoking implement, pause, and take a moment to gauge the effects of your smoky-smoky.

        That is called Titration. Titration is the act of self-gauging the effects of say, medicine.

        One of the biggest reasons that Marijuana is illegal and not medicine is because of Titration. The American Medical Association (Whom has never really come out against Marijuana) keeps Pot illegal because they [the AMA] feels that they are the only governing body smart enough to dispense drugs like Marijuana.

        Take Aspirin, please. We does love our aspirin. It comes from a plant, but it is synthesize down to some three ingredients or compounds. Marijuana has about 400 compounds in it. That is one of the reasons there are so many different strains today. All one has to do is change the THC and CBD ratios in the WEED, breed with another, and Bingo! You have a new strain called, O.G. Purple Blue Kush.

        The AMA doesn’t have a problem dispensing Aspirin because it is so regulated. With WEED, there’s a new strain every day.  And let’s face it; if someone is going through all the trouble of creating a new type of WEED, we want it to have the greatest fuck-up value as possible. When I hear about a new name, my first question is, how high will I get?

        But I like many others have learned that we are on our own when smoking WEED. Many of my friends are against Prop. 19 for the very reason that they don’t want anyone telling them anything about how they should use WEED. It would be weird for the government not to allow some WEED to be sold because it was too strong.

        So we need to take responsibility and show that we are accountable and do not need any one telling us how to smoke our WEED.

        So how do we test our WEED? We take it in small doses until we are sure how it will affect us. By titrating the joint, smoking it then setting it down, measuring the influence is how conscientious tokers do it.

        So when some Anti-potty mouth spoil-sport starts mouthing off about the Stoners driving like Mr. Magoo on the road or how crazy it will get in Cali when Tommy Chong gets elected Governor, remind Mr. or Mrs. Buzzkill that’s not how we roll. We use titration to investigate the strength of our WEED when we medicate.

        Personally, when the Buzzkills hears the word ‘Titration’ coming out of a Stoner’s mouth, I think the discussion is over. By the time the Buzzkills are Googling ‘Titration,’ and wondering, “How can this Pothead be smarter than me?”

        We will be back in the lab conducting our own personal experiments

        Be Smart. Be Stoned. Be Cool.



My thoughts on the Cannabis and Hemp Expo, San Francisco September 2010

I can now form complete sentences. It has been two days since I’ve packed my booth up at the 2^nd Cannabis and Hemp Expo at the Cow Palace. After a weekend of ingesting basically anything that can be infused with WEED, starting off with the usual suspects; brownies, cupcakes, and cookies- and later downing the new and unusual, Marijuana-laced Beef Jerky, Funny Honey, Sativa-tinged lemonade, magic-granola, THC-dosed fruit juice and my favorite, the Dank Treats.

It’s been two days since I made it home, and now, the Pot hangover is finally lifting.

These are my thoughts in no particular order…stand back…I may need a spotter…

On Friday while I was setting up my booth for my spectacular, cool Marijuana-based coffee mugs; someone asked me if it was a good idea to be in the ‘Indoor 215 Area.’ That was the first time, I wondered if the weekend was going to be a blue-smoked-blunder. Y’know, the decisions you make while stoned.

For the uninitiated, the Cannabis and Hemp Expo at the Cow Palace, is, was, and segmented into four separate areas. The North Hall (where I was in April of this year, last time I did this) where it is all ages and they have speakers and lecturers intersperse with the more none-in-your-face booths selling pipes, papers, stash containers and a host of roach clips. Think family-friendly.

The second section was in the South Hall. That section was bigger than the North Hall, but not as rocking as the section I was in (the Indoor 215 area.) but nothing compared with the Outdoor 215 area. (More about that later.) Here you could find Norml, ASA, and other progressive thinkers, along with many other Pot-related booths like the great Doob-tube guy, Crazy Ray C., the comic-book guy who was selling underground comics from the Sixties, plus more of the pipe and papers people. There had to be about forty to seventy booths in this part of the Cow Palace.

Now walking through a pulled-curtain with security checking for wrist-bands was the section I was in-Indoor 215.

At first I thought I had made a complete stoner mistake. While setting up my booth, I realized that the only people, who were going to be allowed in this section, and the Outdoor 215, were people with Medical Marijuana cards.

There was talk that about 15,000 Pot enthusiasts were expected to show up for the weekend. How many would have cards to get into these areas? Did I just screw myself over by thinking that I wanted to be where I thought the cools kids were hanging out at?

I left after setting up my booth on Friday, after being filmed by CBS news, (da media luv da mugs) I thought I had made a huge mistake, financially, and if I may say so, egotistically. Yeah, I wanted to be where you could display Marijuana, like in my section. Also, I paid another five hundred to be with the cool kids, opposed to the two other less expensive areas where Marijuana is not allowed to be shown or touch or played with, like you could do where I was.

Yeah, there were booths in my section that if you could correctly SMELL the strain, they’d give you a bud. There were hash-give-aways and if you signed up on a dispensary’s mailing list, you’d get a bud. Yeah, there was a lot of free Marijuana that was being given away. I heard from my buddies at three different dispensaries, that each had given away two pounds EACH over the two days. I think there must have been about forty dispensaries handing out WEED. You do the fuzzy math and figure out how much was really given away…

From my section, the Indoor 215, there was a path that led to the Outdoor 215 area. Here, there was a DJ huffing on a major glass bong while he whips out some ganja-jamming beats.

There was a marked area where folks could light up and smoke, and light up and smoke they did. This area was blazing. This small area of forty-by-fifty seemed to be what the whole weekend was about. The freedom to blaze at your own will. Even though everyone had a card in the area, you couldn’t get in without one, it was a huge Pot Party. It was like everyone had left their homes to be with a larger group of people, that you could get stoned with.

If it wasn’t for the booth babes in bikinis, little school-girl outfits and nurses uniforms hawking flyers and giving away samples, you could have mistaken the Expo for a frat party with all the legacy members attending…

Make no mistake about it, the Cannabis and Hemp Expo was cool because, there’s really nothing like it…except there was…

The opening day, Saturday, was one of the hottest days of the year so far. Traffic was way down. People were out doing stuff after a summer of over-cast skies. On that opening day, I sold less than half of what I had done in April, at the last and FIRST Hemp Expo.

Vendors were nervous and apparently there were some logistical problems that were going on back of house that some of us got a whiff of, and that was hard with all the second-hand pot smoking going around.

It seems that nobody was going to the North section at all. It was ghost-town. Most people were beating cheeks to the Outdoor section. Again, most people smoked a joint before leaving the house. Blew a few bowls on the way over. Then once in the Cow Palace, hustled over to the Outdoor section, and continued smoking.

I’m no scientist, but I think people like to get high.

At this point I realized that being where I was, was a good thing, even if sales were down.

Leaving Saturday with my booth crew, I was bummed. If I didn’t have a better second day, I could stand to lose a couple of thousands of dollars…

On the way out, I asked a buddy of mine over at the Teahouse Collective, how did they do? He said, “Great, but when you’re giving away free Marijuana, it is hard to gauge.”

“Wonderful,” I thought.

Sunday was going to be different, I promised myself, and it was. There were many challenges on Saturday that I do not want to go over, but the Expo was slightly different this time. I think the biggest difference between the Expo I attended in April and the one over the past weekend was…the very first one, was the first one of its kind. This guy Bob Katzman had pulled off a WEED trade-show and no one thought he could have done it, plus, we were allowed to smoke. Legally.

But since those hallowed days of spring, there has been something like five Expos of this type here in the Bay Area. Not to mention L.A. and Orange County.

Seven months ago, an event like this was unheard of. Now, since someone has sold their email listings, I get hit on about once a week for a new trade show or Marijuana-oriented festival. The Green Rush is on…

 So Sunday was a much better day. The Expo-goers were cooler and for some reason, more folks were buying. In my area, a debate was staged between the ‘Know on Prop. 19’ Weedsters and the potheads who were for it. Very interesting talk.

Proposition 19 was the talk of the Expo. Will it pass? Won’t it? I’m for it and here’s why…

By Eleven AM Sunday, the North Hall was closed and the all the vendors from that area squeezed into the open booths in the South Hall, where Norml and other sellers that didn’t display real WEED.

Again, I am skipping over much that had happen, but the pistons in the membrane, still aren’t firing like they should…

Bottom line: I lost money but made many new friends. Most everyone who attended this event over the past weekend was friendly and nice. Yes, most people had a legal smile pasted on, but the vibes were very right-on. People said excuse me when they bumped someone. Joints and edibles were being passed around like it was Woodstock.

I feel a little sorry for the planners. I think Jen had a better time than Bob. My opinion…

It is different to have a trade show for something as so righteous and misaligned as Pot. In another couple of months, it might be legal here. There were insurance agents, convention service people, lawyers, and a host of others offering their services for a new industry.  

Along with the smell of rich Indicas and sweet Sativas, there was a smell of hope in the air. Deals were being made left and right. When people were told how much something would cost. They asked, how much would that be in WEED?

It was a small glimpse of how they do business up north in Mendo.

There is nothing like the Cannabis and Hemp Expo to compare it with? I haven’t been to others, so I don’t know.

I just know that there has been a paradigm shift in the last six months concerning WEED. It’s like watching a genius graduate from high school and having every major college out there begging for it to be part of its fellowship. Everyone’s pulling on the WEED like it is taffy for their own designs.

It is weird after losing some money over the weekend but not really being that bummed. It is too early to tell what I’ve lost. Because I had too much fun being there.

And after it is all said and done, can you really put a price on fun?

And isn’t that really what Marijuana is about? Or used to be…



America Needs Bigger Idols

I do not think it is any mistake as the religious right gains momentum; the need for false idols grows as well. When it comes to the Duality of Man, we look into the mirror only to see the Lord, not the devil’s reflection. To see the whole picture, to see ourselves as we are, well that is too much for any individual to take, let alone live with on a daily basis.

America has always worshipped false idols and deities, that’s how new religions start. There is, if I can use this word, a progressive evolutionary to all religions. Like a Chinese buffet, a new religion will take a little bit of what’s come before it, change the sauce and some of the ingredients, give a new name, and then it’s ready for home delivery.

I am very worried about America’s newest religion. I’m not talking about Mormonism or Scientology, no, with the neo-modern incorporation of dollars and sense; those two new kids on the block are doing just fine. No, I am worried about American Idol.

American Idol is going through changes that the Catholic Church only wishes they could do- a do-over. A chance to send up revised sails, hoping that America will like the new look of the jib and the J-Lo design.

But Lo, I am worried to my bones. America Idol started right around the same time that George W. Bush came to power. Both the show and the politician seemed to be forged and molded in backrooms and focus groups to maximize and take advantage of the nation’s psyche. The idea was to launch a show/politician so successful and new, that most people wouldn’t know what they were looking at. For a large contingency, the politician and the program were built up to seem like they always had been part of the American fabric. By Year Two, no one would argue of the importance of the show, and its impact on America.

Whether it was the impact of September Eleventh or because of all the discrepancies with recent elections, America in the early 2000’s was ready for a new look, shaking the Etch-E-Sketch, or in the words of the daytime talk shows, “America, you need a makeover.”

Somehow it started. In this new world, experience no longer matter. If you could make it pass the audition, if you could the American people to vote for you, you could make it to the top, very few questions asked.

First of all, I had no clue that America was hurting for talent that there was a need to make a nation-wide search for the new Britney’s and Justin’s clones. Then I was introduced to the music. Dawg, all I’m sayin’ is, I had no idea that there was a pop world out there that was so in tuned with pitch and Jesus. Not being a fan of the Mariah Carey’s of the world or haven’t been to a club for a while, I was unfamiliar with these new beats that didn’t seem to exist in other worlds. Then I realize with new worlds, comes new languages and new customs.

What I’ve learned so far is America doesn’t care where you come from, as long as you sing the tune we’re familiar with. You can be a stoned-out white boy with dreads, but you better belt out a tune that we’ve not only heard before, but already have in our collection, or at the very least, we know his dad.

As long as we’re familiar with some part of you, we’re okay with you not having experience. We only get suspicious when you’re really different, or black.

Not to say Black performers can’t win at our American contest. No, if the mood strikes us correct, and we feel the Black performer isn’t a threat to our daughters, we’ll vote them in, and only really regret it later when they actual sing their own songs.

We’ve turned the corner in America. We no longer expect those that perform for us to have any background to do what they’ve been voted for, to entertain us. A woman can work at her craft for years, playing piano, taking singing lessons and dance, work from sunrise to sundown, and we give her nothing. Put on a dress of flank steaks, ten Grammys.

We vote for the people that capture our attention at the moment we’re in right then and there. When asked later, “What were we thinking?” Because we are all in on it, we say nothing. That is the American way, to move on, not be pulled down by facts and history. It is about what we need in the moment. That moment if needed, can be argued later.

So 2010 is almost coming to an end. Our first decade together of the Twenty-first century, and I wish I could say where we were heading. I could ask why we need a show that tries to pick Americans out of obscurity and raise them to a national forum. Why the need to find strangers and then pretend like they are our best friends for a season?

Because we have no lives and the opposite would mean leaving the house and going somewhere where there is a struggling artist who in the shadows or under a dim bulb on open-mike night is singing their hearts out.

No, TV is easier for us to find our Idols. Just like the Sunday morning services on all the channels, it is much easier for us to have God come to us, then us to He or She.

So good luck Dawg, J-lo and Steven T. May y’all enter a new facet of your careers with the best of chances. But let’s face it; you don’t need experience to be judge on American idol. We just have to be told that we like you.

American Idol feels so American because after ten short years, it has become who we are.

We are a nation that is looking for something and never knows what it is until we find it, buy it and then discards it when we’re done.

Beware of false idols. Somebody should really make that a law.



Lorenzo’s Hash Oil

Maybe you saw the movie with Nick Nolte about a parent’s quest to find a cure for their son’s diseases. Failing to find a doctor capable of treating their young son Lorenzo's rare disease, Augusto and Michaela Odone sought their own cure. They set out on a mission to find a treatment to save their child. In their quest, the Odones clashed with doctors, scientists, and support groups, who were skeptical that anything could be done about ALD, much less by laypeople. But they persisted, setting up camp in medical libraries, reviewing animal experiments, badgering researchers, questioning top doctors all over the world, and even organizing an international symposium about the disease. Despite dead ends of research, the horror of watching their son's health decline, and being surrounded by skeptics, they persisted until they finally hit upon a therapy involving adding a certain kind of oil to their son's diet.

The same could be said about Medical Marijuana. Right now the Medical Marijuana Movement can sight many heroes who have led us to this very juicy moment in history, where the WEED may actually become legal, but to remember our roots, we have to thank Valerie and Michael Corral.

If you don’t know their names, you shouldn’t be allowed in a dispensary. While high I’m on my tall horse, I should mention that I just learned about them a couple of weeks ago.

In 1973, Valerie was in a terrible auto accident that left her with severe head trauma. This brought on seizures, sometimes as many as five a day. Not to minimize her experience, but through the assistance of her soon-to-be husband, Michael, Valerie Corral would be one of the first leaders in bringing the issue of Medical Marijuana into the light.

Because of the standard approach to disease by the medical establishment, Valerie Corral was given medication that not only didn’t work, it made her nauseas and feeling depressed. Then she tried Marijuana. It worked. But she got busted in 1992 by the police. Sent to drug detergency program, to get her off WEED, Valerie notice that her health dropped dramatically when she wasn’t dosing with Marijuana. This was brought up in her trial, but to no avail.    

I am jumping ahead greatly, but as the Corrals were fighting their case, the city of Santa Cruz, where they live, voted and accepted the first Medical Marijuana Collective for patients.

After their bust and subsequent freedom, they started to get calls from other people who were suffering from all kinds of painful maladies, and all wondered, “Did Marijuana really help?”

The Corrals help draft Proposition 215, the “Compassionate Use of Act of 1996.” Valerie Corral has been published in many fine medical journals and Michael is known for his organic horticulture contributions.

If I have a point to all of this, it is this; we have to do it on our own. As the American Medical Association states concerning Marijuana, “just because something makes you feel better, doesn’t mean it’s a medicine.” Quote-unfucking-quote.

Think about that. What that means is, you are not in charge of your medication…we are. We will say what is good for you and not. We will tell if the side effects are tolerable and if it’s worth it for us to invest in this…so-called medicine, even if it works.

Marijuana has been around since people first starting saying, “It hurts when I do this…” There is evidence of Marijuana use in early China and swinging Egypt. Actually Marijuana was used for the treatment of many diseases until the end of the Nineteenth century when the American Medical Association came along.

Funny thing about WEED, it’s very female. We cultivate the female plants, and even talk about the WEED like she was a woman with her alluring scent and the crazy places she gets us in. But for centuries, it was women who dispensed Marijuana as herbalists and other folk-practitioners. Then the AMA came along, and the first two things they did, outlaw herbs and restrict women from joining the AMA.

At the start of the 1900’s, opium and cocaine fell out of flavor  favor, (no more in coke in Coke) and a new word, addiction was invented.

Traditionally, young, white women were the image of innocent addicts of America in our early times. (Like Kurt Russell’s wife in Wyatt Earp.) But as the medical establishment took control, and went from being a resource as in prescribing drugs, the AMA felt the need to weigh in on social issues too, like abortion and drugs. We then opened a new chapter in our history. Instead of drugs being fun and giving us ‘A pause that refreshes…’ we now have Negros and Mexicans walking our streets in a drug-hazed zombie state with Jazz music and machetes . Now, drugs are bad and the people who do them are bad too.

And it hasn’t changed that much in one hundred years.

As we approach a vote for Legalization of Marijuana, and that is a different topic than Medical Marijuana, but for all of the bitching by both sides of the issue, and I’m talking the in-house bitching done by Potheads AGAINST Prop. 19 (and I do understand their beef), we do have to band together for Prop. 19.

Forget that the Beer Boys and the correctional officers of American prisons doesn’t want to see it pass. Why is that? Really, because you’ll lose money? So people have to go to jail so you can make a profit. What’s next? Health-care for profit?

This weekend is the Cannabis and Hemp Expo in San Francisco. This is the perfect opportunity for people to band together, to get our collective heads on straight and go forward as one. Thanks to the work of Valerie and Michael Corral, Dennis Peron, Richard Lee and many, many others, we are this close to seeing something happen that a lot of us never thought we’d see in our lifetimes.

Whether it is Medical Marijuana or the Legalization of Marijuana, the right to smoke, for whatever reason, is not going to be handed to us. Far from it. They are going to try to take it from our sticky little hands.

We have a little over a month to get this right. Maybe Proposition 19 isn’t perfect. Maybe we’re not all on the same page when it comes to our idea how this legalization thing should roll out. But can’t we all agree on one thing- Smoking Indicas early in the morning will trash the rest of your day.

See, you have to be a Pot smoker to get that. If you do, please vote because you do understand the basic physics of Pot.

Maybe that we can all agree on.

See you at the Expo!!!!



What if Karl Rove was for Prop.19?

We’re forty-two days away from Election Day in California. Maybe it is time we get aggressive. Let’s face it, Marijuana since the 1930’s, hasn’t been giving even break. Since the Secretary of the Treasury placed his nephew to be in charge of America’s Marijuana policy in 1937, WEED hasn’t had a chance. The American people have been fed lies, lies, and more lies.  There have been presidential studies, universities’ experiments, tests done by the government, military, special projects invoked by governors, and they all come up with the same finds: Marijuana isn’t that bad for you. At least, it is not as bad as everyone has said it is. Marijuana is kept illegal by emotional, unreasonable arguments.

Well, maybe it time to fight back.

Karl Rove scared America straight with his fear-mongering for eight years. In the process of turning parent against their Gay kids and frightening average Red-blooded Americans in Blue States with the label of  being seen un-American if you weren’t into killing unsuspecting people in far away countries because of our President’s Daddy issues. Karl had us right where he wanted us, in his palm, no lubrication.

For eight years, the Jerk-offs was in control. Let’s learn from that. I now offer the unreasonable and insane arguments that we should use in defense of Proposition 19 and Legalization. Here are the illogical and absurd statements, that if said with a straight face, can scared and influence those Republicans who have been freaking us out for almost a decade with their insane point of views.

1)  We can increase the Defense Budget!

Once we free up the dollars, roughly a billion that goes to taking care of America’s a third of the prisoners who are busted for Marijuana, we can spend all our new-found cash on bombs, planes and cool low-flying drones with sick digital cameras for awesome playback at home.

2)   We can finally give the finger to those Nations holding us hostage with fossil fuels.

Even though we know that Saudi Arabia financed and made September 11^th happen, there’s nothing we can do except attack other countries because of their unctuous hold over our country because of our steady oil jones. 

Now with bio-fuels being created from Hemp oil, we can have that independence we’ve always talked about. Imagine, not having ever to hold the hands of Sheiks when they visit your Casa Blanco.

3)    It’s Hard for Twelve-year-olds to buy beer.

Right now, it’s kinda hard for Dylan or Josh to scoot into the Quik-E-Mart and score a sixer for first period with Mr. Erikson. Why, because there is an age-restriction that comes with drinking. The same will happen with Weed. No longer will you have to worry whether your son or daughter is forced to buy their WEED from a senor in the parking-lot or worse, from that Mathew McConaughney-clone who’s graduated and is trying to hit on your daughter while selling her the Kush at absurd prices because they are forced to get it only from friends. With Legalization, your children are safe at the hands of Big Business, who only see a market of consumers and have no intention of hitting on your daughter.

4)                Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

As the Marijuana trade establishes itself, not only will the demand rise for Budtenders, consultants and green-thumbs, but innovated jobs like Brad Pitt’s strictly Sativa-only buyers will reach a certain segment of the population that normally wouldn’t get off the couch.

5)            Price of Pot will go down.

Everyone’s hurting these days financially. Who doesn’t need a break? Parents, how much of your hard-earn money that goes to tuition, is really going to your kid’s WEED habit? Now, with Legalization, the price that students would be spending on their Weed habit can go to books and tutors. With increased savings, more homes can purchase more stuff, putting America back on top for spending our monies on stuff we don’t need, like in the old days like when we had extra money to fritter on Cocaine, Gas, and Food.

6)      We’re losing misplace Money by not taxing WEED!

Like oil escaping from a bleeding valve in once clear-blue waters, there is tax money not being collected as we speak. We’re losing money every day that we let this travesty to continue. Once WEED is legal, we are going to be able to recover our floating green in the form of solid Big Bucks. From the possible revenue income, don’t quote me on this, but instead of your parents having to go to Death Camps because of their age and, let’s face it, the sight of old people bum us out. With all the added revenue from Pot Taxes, we can send Mom and Dad on luxurious sea cruises or high-end condominiums in desert places throughout the American Southwest without any guilt. Or just keep the money for ourselves. Choice is back!

7)    People Drive Better Stoned

No matter what MADD or Ex-cops say, it has been proven time and time again by people leaving rock concerts higher than Lindsey Lohan’s legal bills, that stoned drivers drive better and more carefully. This idea that once Legalization happens, our freeways are going to become like the Road Warrior- the home-version, is crazy. Marijuana drivers go slower and even sometimes, don’t move at all, even while still in the driver’s seat, buckled in. The real Marijuana driver is more concerned with getting high and will sometimes, because of no fault of their own, pass out right there in the Metallica parking lot, instead of dealing with the whole-key-in the ignition-thing and having to drive home.   

8)    The World looks better Stoned

Do you hate your job? Do you think the programming at the Discovery Channel sucks and could use more ‘Shark Weeks’? Are you just basically bored as shit with your life and everything around you? Well, it’s all new when you get high. Forget about the colors (you’ll find out that there are fifty shades of green once you get stoned) and how all of sudden everyone around you is now cool for some reason, no, they’re the secondary reasons. After you get stoned, you’re laughing and you don’t care. Suddenly all your cares and your fears have subsided, at least until you go outside. But when you get stoned, squirrels talk to you like you’re in a Disney movie and Life becomes more exciting, even when doing your wash or going to the store for some late night Ben and Jerry’s. You will find you don’t have the energy to yell anymore. Your secretary will start paying attention to you.

    Life will be better all around.

 I know some stoners who get high before going to the Dentist. We each will need to find our limits.

9)    Today, Fifty-six percent of Californians are in favor of Legalization.

                Be on the winning team! Go with the over-dogs! As voters hem and haw over the vote for Legalization, decide for yourself that you are going to BE A WINNER! That regardless of the issue, you’re tired of being on the wrong end of the stick. Whether it was voting for a Tea Party candidate or the president that slid this country down into a well so deep that only something drastic is going to let us forget what we did. Vote for Legalization like the slim majority plans to do. Exercise your vote for a new America with you finally on top, voting with everyone else.

10)         Street Gangs are going to have to diversify.

It is common knowledge that Marijuana has been the bread and butter, or if you will, they’re ‘pan y garnarse’ of your typical street gangs. With Legalization, your average gang-banger is going to have to diversify and find new revenue streams, most like from clothing lines and tattoo shops. Without having to rent large trucks to haul the thousands and thousands of pounds of Marijuana from their distributor and not having to sell the Marijuana to rich, white kids and Jazz musicians, street gangs are going to be freed up and most likely turn their attentions to civic duties. I’m sure that as soon as the Marijuana boom is over for your average street criminal, they will turn to gardening and running for public office in order to enact change.  

And there are many more reasons we should have Legalization. Athletes play better when they can get stoned and can relax after the game getting high. Just ask the 1970’s NFL and NBA players. It didn’t hurt their games any.

Marijuana makes you want to be rich and get out of the house. Just ask George Soros, the Virgin Atlantic guy and the Men’s Warehouse guy, three stoners who use the inside spread in Forbes to roll with.  

Other countries have Legalization and the use goes down. Really. Once you can get high, you’ll find out that it’s not that big of a thing. You will find that you don’t have to be afraid of something that’s not going to hurt you.

That the worst thing that is going to happen is you run out of munchies and your side will hurt from laughing at dumb stuff.

        Everybody must get stoned.