The Great New Republican Test
Friday, February 3, 2012 The Great New Republican Test
1) Only Democrats have abortions.
- True
- False
2) The Wealthy are smarter.
- True
- False
3) The larger the church, the closer to God you are.
- True
- False
4) All problems in America started January, 20th 2009.
- True
- False
5) It is now acceptable to “bear false witness against your neighbor.”
- True
- False
6) A Republican president has never increased the National Budget, only Democrats.
a. True
b. False
7) If Social Security was privatized as President George W. Bush requested, it would be gone now.
a. True
b. False
8) Family Values change yearly.
a. True
b. False
9) After three decades of tax cuts for the wealthy, these cuts have directly resulted in job creation and a better society for all.
a. True
b. False
10) The only redeeming benefit of Science is to know how to repair a fishing boat in Alaska; otherwise it is just a bunch of arguable facts.
a. True
b. False
11) The single greatest threat to marriage.
a. Gays
b. Gays
c. Gays
d. Divorce
12) The United States fought in Iraq and Afghanistan to:
a. To protect the Muslim people.
b. No fucking way?
13) The greater and more disastrous the event, (BP oil spill, Rupert Murdoch hacking 9/11 victims, Japan’s nuclear meltdown) the less it seems that it happen.
a. True
b. False
14) The less intelligent states of America need to take legislative action against the possibility of Sharia Law being enacted in their state, because they’re actually that stupid of a state and in times of a crisis, lose their redneck minds.
a. True
b. False
15) All Republican presidents, once out of office, concern themselves with humanitarian affairs and work towards the betterment of the World. 
a. True
b. False
16) Any news that isn’t on Fox News is wrong.
a. True
b. False
17) Americans are more than willing to pick fruit, clean hotel rooms and watch our children for minimum wage, if only given the opportunity.
a. True
b. False
18) That the American flag is produced in China by slave labor is a perfect example of outsourcing.
a. True
b. False
19) The Oklahoma City bombing was the work of four people.
a. True
b. False
20) The World Trade Center attack was the work of:
a. 19 Operatives
b. al-Qaeda
c. The Entire Arab World
21) Life begins at conception and Human Rights end at birth.
a. True
b. False
22) Supporting the Troops only applies when the troops are overseas.
a. True
b. False
23) The Constitution can be suspended in times of crisis.
a. True
b. False
24) Italian and German Americans should have been intern in prison camps alongside Japanese-Americans during World War II, as was suggested by the military at the time.
a. True
b. False
25) Republican administrations have been more successful for America than Democratic presidential administrations.
a. True
b. False
26) Healthcare just isn’t for everyone.
a. True
b. False
27) The poor can take care of themselves, the Rich need assistance in the form of subsidies and tax loopholes.
a. True
b. False
28) America needs to return to an indescribable period of time that no one is sure of exactly when that is, but it is before now, when times were better and life was more suited to a Republican’s sensibilities.
a. True
b. False
Reader Comments (1)
I'm a redneck conservative Republican from Charlottesville, Va and have voted Republican for the past 55 years...and damn proud of it!!!!! Fox News is the only real News Network to watch!!! #24...I sure thought FDR was a Democrat...could be wrong??? #28...That's a no brainer..."Ozzie & Harriet" and "Leave it to Beaver"!!! Maybe "Happy Days", but the Fonz was a little radical for my tastes!!! #11...Now that is a tough one!!! I was in a casino in Vegas...pretty bad when the best looking woman in the place was a guy!!! I hated the escalators....why is it the old farts have to stop right at the bottom and decide where to go for dinner??? I had a comical friend that used to play the Comedy Club at the MGM...but, he has to be long dead by now!!! We went to Vegas together one time...met at the plane...I said "Hi Jack"...needless to say...we never made it...