Jack Rikess, a former stand-up comedian, takes the edge off of the world and explains all those unexplained things in a way that will make you either laugh or cry.

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Growing Fears

       Chillaxing on the couch last Sunday, baking like Betty Crocker, a commercial came on the flat screen depicting three jovial stoners bumming out about something. Since the sound was down, I thought at first this was a bong-heavy version of American Idol, and the guys were looking for a piano player or a new drummer. Turning the volume up I was informed these obvious fellow bakers are for Free Credit Dot Com. Huh? Then Thomas Haden Church did a voice-over for what I thought was Medical Marijuana sold over the telly the way he was encouraging us to “score, man.” His whole spiel sounded like something out of Cheech and Chong: The Next Generation. Next up was a Hyundai add that was completely trippy. It was so good, I had to mute it and sync it up with some Floyd. Now I have the Dark Side of Hyundai. I think it Hyundai.

     Here in San Francissy, we’re gearing up for legalization. It not for sure, but then I’d be hard pressed to see it not happening. For people my age, I voted for Jimmy Carter, legalization is a double edge sword. We want to be able to smoke, to buy and to travel with Weed, and not end up in jail for it. For Cali kids under twenty-five, it’s like it’s always been legal for them. They’ve had friends with cards scoring for them. They might know someone in Mendo’ who cops for them at a rate cheaper than the Zig-zag man pays. Watching TV with so many commercials showing stoners in action, the demographics are reaching out to them. It’s cool to get stone. Even the Golden Arches, which I said before in one of my columns-- that as soon as Weed is legal, we’re going to see that Happy, Happy, Happy Meal. Right now they’re suggesting after leaving the all-night rave, check out McDonald’s before going home to crash. Big Business is preparing the next generation for, “Hey dude, don’t you want the Weed that going to make your girl stay with you and not go out with Bobby ‘cause the Bobster has the Kush? Try R.J. Reynolds’s ‘Sweet Blueberry Harvest.’”

      My generation is different. The government and big Business scares us. Not because of money or commercialism, because...they’re going to fuck it up. Plain and simple, we’d rather have it decriminalize and left in our hands rather than have it get the one-two punch of some governor or mayor saying how it’s going to be.



         During the Viet Nam war, I like many others saw some weird, freaky things, and this was states-side. Once I had the privilege to be in a room as these monstrous Klipsch speakers, easily as big as a couple of kids from ‘America’s Biggest Losers’ were being unloaded into the living room of a buddy’s place. When the back panel was removed, inside were pounds and pounds of some of the best smuggled Thai sticks I’ve ever smoked. Also during this time, I saw a pack of Park Lanes. Park Lanes, (I think I have the name right, this was the sixties, and did I mention the Thai sticks?) so far in American history, is the only time Marijuana has been package and put out for public consumption. Yes, Virginia tobacco, there has been instances of legal Weed, kind of. Park Lane Cigarettes were available in Viet Nam, and then of course, made its way here. Maybe Uncle Sam didn’t roll them, but we sure looked the other way when it came to the soldier’s ‘RnR’.

        These are funny times. There is an abundance of powerful Weed being grown...well everywhere. Right now it is like we’re all private vintners. The states are full of little family wineries that instead of grapes, we have killer Weed.

        Believe it or not, the Weed I smoke is organic, grown outside (for the most part) and I know the growers. I like that. If the government takes over, that all goes out the window and sooner or later, we’re smokin’ Boones Farm Blueberry Kush wine. Those are the fears of my friends. I think different...


More Later...

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