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 Jack Rikess, a former stand-up comedian, takes the edge off of the world and explains all those unexplained things in a way that will make you either laugh or cry.

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Friday
Oct222010

The Bradley Bong-hit Effect

 

 

They really must think we’re stoners. Here it is almost a week before Election Day, and the anti-Pot fractions are saying it is over. Somehow we went from overnight having the lead to waking and baking and finding out, we’re trailing in the so-called polls. That is such bullshit.

There is going to be a fight, make no mistake about it. It is going to take every eligible voter to get out and make that vote count. But do not let the propaganda machine influence anyone’s decision or vote. It is going to be a close race. Change is always like that. We’re not sure that it can happen, until it happens. It is the same thing with this vote. Not to be naïve, but visualize it and it will happen.

There are two flaws in the logic of the propaganda puppets, three really, if you count that this particular offense is purely being created by the money flowing in by the Beermeisters and Prison Guards who are shaking in their tin cans.

We can win and this is how.

First, many people when asked by pollsters if they are in favor or support Proposition 19, if it is a human voice, they say, “No, they are not.” If it is a robotic call, just between the caller and a voice-activated machine, they are more truthful and may answer, “Yes, they are in favor of hitting the bong, I mean, yes, I am in favor of Prop.19.”

The Bradley Effect, named after Los Angeles first black mayor who in the polls didn’t have a chance. Apparently when white people were asked on the phone whether they would vote for Tom Bradley or his opponent, the anonymous stated they would vote for anybody but Bradley. Except when that same voter was in the privacy of the polling booth, they picked Bradley.

Do you really think Tea-Baggers don’t get high? How about priests, pilots and cops?  There are many people who are in the closet with a one-hitter pretending like no one knows what they are doing.

Do you think these people are living the truth? Uh-uh, but at the same time, they wants their WEED.

There’s one win.

Secondly, these polls are done on land-lines. My mother and her friends only use a cell phone for long distance; otherwise it sits like the red phone in the Kremlin.

For accurate polling to hit that under-forty groups, try cell phone polling. With cell phone polling, you randomly call a number and wait for the first response and say, “Dude, do you the dank?”

“Everyday man.”

That’s it. Mr. Pollster barely needs any more articulation than that. Cell phone users are hipper and more in touch with now.     

The polls that say we’re losing are wrong. They are trying to scare us. Tell us it is not worth showing up. Don’t even bother getting off the couch on this one.

For California’s number one cash crop to be lied about and treated with such little respect is a tragedy. If I didn’t know that the other side was so scared, to the tune of dumping large amounts of greenbacks to stop the tide of the Green Rush. I might actually be worried. There are too many good people working on this bill to let it fail.

It’s too late.

It’s all happening.

Talk to your friends. Organize. This is not over.

The proposition has many flaws, that’s true, but it is a start. If I knew that my friends up north were going to be in charge of the whole program, I wouldn’t have a problem with any of it. As it happens, it will be left up to democracy. How this whole Prop. 19 thing is going to turn is going to be left up to us. We are going to have to craft it and shape it.

Somewhere along the line there was only one strain of Pot and that mutated into the variety that we have now.

Same thing with this bill. Let’s get it off the ground. Let’s beat the foes that want to fill our for-profit prison system with innocent non-violent criminals and the beer barons who want to own the phrase, ‘Got Buds.’

In ten days or so we have our chance to move ahead and change the future of this country. The rest of the world is looking at us. Don’t listen to the nay-sayers.  

In the next week there will be stories of white children eating Marijuana and getting sick. There will be tales of mothers who just took one hit and accidently drove into a daycare center. Ghost tales about high air traffic-controllers too stoned to handle the microphone, almost causing an accident by slamming K.L.M. into W.A.L.L.

By Halloween, there’s going to be many horror stories about how bad WEED is for you.

It is all hype. It is a last ditch-weed effort. They’re just trying to scare you.

If Proposition passes, I promise you, this will all turn around. It will become a positive. The Democrats will use this as an issue in the next election to bring out voters like Karl Rove did with his anti-Gay marriage scare of the early Oughts.

Right now, Marijuana is scary because of the unknowns.

Know what you know.

 In the history of the World, there has never been a person who has overdosed from Marijuana. We don’t need to be afraid anymore.

Now pass the word.

It’s all happening.



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