Jack Rikess, a former stand-up comedian, takes the edge off of the world and explains all those unexplained things in a way that will make you either laugh or cry.

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Welcome To Kali

I am getting so sick of America. Not my America, George Bush’s America, and all that it represents. I haven’t seen our Presidential Ex actually making the media rounds but it’s hard not to miss seeing the highlights in the news and covered by the talk shows and blogs. I really can’t tell if he is trying to set the record straight or sell books. Anyway you look at it; George appears like he still doesn’t have a clue. And then again, for our only Ex-Prez that looked more rested when leaving the White House than when he arrived, maybe he hasn’t changed. And if I was George, with a track record of bringing down countries, nations and baseball teams with extreme prejudice, and not have any retribution from its citizens, governments and fans, why should I change? After all, George was just being George.

Even when George the Forty-third was at his worst, lying and scheming, doing everything illegal and legal to advance his agenda, I argued with my friends not to demonize him. That George Bush isn’t a monster; it is the people who back him and the people who support him that are the root of all of his empirical problems.

But still, seeing clips of him being arrogant and still misleading in his answers and perspective, it does make me want to do something. Something drastic.

Then there’s Sarah Palin and her new book. Lies? Who to say? Let the new media fight not over content, but what side can garner the most ratings and audience over their manipulative strategy for domination of the American psyche and advertising support.

I’ve given up talking to a certain segment of America. It is a no-win situation. People are no longer for much. They mostly find out what their neighbor is for, and then they are against that.

We are divisive without an endgame in sight.

Right now the Republicans are not throwing down the gauntlet against our duly elected president like men and women with a point and a plan. No, they are opening up the lawn chairs and plan to sit this one out.

And here’s my problem. No one cares. I mean really. We talk like it matters, but really, c’mon, seriously, this is America. Sarah Palin is making racist comments about our President while her daughter shakes her booty for text and phony minions. And then there’s gossip that that competition is being fixed somehow by rabid, steeping Tea-Baggers. Jeeze, isn’t anything sacred?

My solution? It’s not going to popular, except in Texas.

If there is one thing maybe we can all agree is, we can’t talk to one another anymore. The art of civil discourse is gone and it ain’t coming back, to certain people.

It’s crazy but all Glen Beck has to do is open his month and say anything, and there will be a certain segment of the population that will believe him. Unconditionally. Who else in your life has that kind of power over your friends and family? I can’t control Glen and the people who believe him. The only person I can control is me. And maybe a new constitution.

Yep, if we can’t talk, maybe we should not even try. I’m thinking of seceding from the Union and taking California (Northern, of course, starting right south of Monterey and going north to Medford, Oregon) with me. And of course any other states nearby who want to join me and would live by my rules.

I would ask three simple questions.

1)  If it was legally possible, would you vote for George Bush again?

2)  Do you feel that you are entitled to have more rights than someone else?

3)    Do you think Ronald Reagan actually decreased the Federal Budget?

If you answered ‘Yes’ to those three questions, immigration test over. We don’t want you.

And that’s how it would be.

Right now, it is my belief that half of this country would vote George Bush back in because…basically they’ve woken up from an incredible malaise, a hypnotic stupor from being bitch slap by Cheney for eight years to realize they’ve voted for a Black Man into office in their haste.

Now we have change we can’t believe in.

Except I still believe and that is why I need my own country. I know there are people like me out there. I hang out with them. I go shopping with them. Granted, I don’t think San Francisco is smarter or more on track than other cities, but we are different and no one will deny that.

And that’s what scares people. The difference in our various looks and the way we try to include all beings and service animals into the discussion. And the worst? The way we as a city and people tolerate those differences on a daily level, even letting them have their own restaurants.

Right now, there are people who want to take this country back. I guess to the hallow days of 2009, right before the Change. Is that the time and place we want to go back to? When our jobs were being flushed down the drain, along with our houses, our pensions and people’s dreams. Or is it farther back?

Back when the Black Man and Women needed to ask before crossing the street or if they could vote.

I have no idea what one part of America wants or is looking for.

That’s why we need Pacifica. Kushlandia? The Real Greenland? Or just plain, Cali. Kali?

Whatever we call ourselves, we’re already ahead of the curve. California used to have the seventh largest economy in the world. Not bad. We have water, organic food and enough yoga studios for the next generation.

Europe, China and other major powers and corporations have headquarters, consulates or offices here in San Francisco, so the United Nations thing could be surpassed. A little dig at the One World people. But being an international city and the city that internationals love the most in United States, we’re golden.

In fact, that should be our motto. ‘Come to Kali, We’re Golden.’

I don’t think seceding would be much of problem if left up to a vote by the rest of the nation. San Francisco is where the Devil keeps a flat. Where family values are roasted on hibachis fueled by liberal gas. Where Gays and Lesbians teach small children in public schools to respect everyone and we all have something to offer. Where Nancy Pelosi gives social dollars to the Arts and the needy, whether they want it or not.

The way the country disparages San Francisco, I think they’d be happy to let us go. With our hospitals that study stem cells and law schools that argue what is torture? With our Tech companies and innovators in industry who plug in and play while the rest of the world is still in tubes. With the free thinkers who not only believe in change but see it before it happens. We’ll take what is ours and you can have the rest.

I’ve had it and I’m taking my new country and going home.



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Reader Comments (5)

Hi Jack, thanks for the link to ASA for the cannabis cup winners.

I think the divide between those who "think" and those who "fear" is both real and problematic for this experiment we call democracy.

I'm pretty sure that Lincoln would have understood that when a democracy values stupidity over intelligence, then maybe dividing the house isn't such a bad idea. It's really frustrating to see how highly ignorance is currently valued in our culture.

If Chatty Kathy can look Presidential, then democracy is on life-support. At least we can say we live in interesting times.

November 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNorCalNative

Hey Jack. I can't say Hi Jack without worrying if our government is watching! I have just started reading your blog, and I like it and plan to keep reading it more often. I live in Colorado and I'm riding the MMJ wave here in the high country. Very interesting times indeed. Your idea for carving out a new country is right on, and something I've considered as necessary. The points you raise about what America has become are too true and too sad. I have finally cut off my television signal into my house and I'm trying to manage my information content. I always have believed that the one worst invention of the 20th century was television, and I believe it is the truth more than I feared. I believe that the 50-50 split between beliefs in our country is manufactured for media sake and a divided country is an easier to manage country. There is no compassion left in government, and perhaps there never was. It seemed like there was when I was younger, but I, like many my age, believe it all ended with John Lennon's murder, or was it with Nixon's election? I forget but they were both tragic events in our history. If Kali comes to be - sign me up. I have an imaginary country, similar to Kali, that I have always called Cyneal. It is a mixture of "cynicism and realism". I believe you could fit in and become a Cynealist as well. Kind regards, Don

November 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDon Pearson

Thanks Don, We seem to come from similar places. I am very interested in what is happening in Co. I believe because you don't have the extremes that we do like LA vs NorCal, you guys will have a clear and comprehensive bill before we do. thanks for reading the blog.


November 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjack


You should have been writing many years ago. I sincerely appreciate your heartfelt commentary and ability to sum things up with serious humor.


November 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNick O'Connor

Thanks Nicky, coming from another writer, that means a lot. tyvm

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjack

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