Jack Rikess, a former stand-up comedian, takes the edge off of the world and explains all those unexplained things in a way that will make you either laugh or cry.

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Spill, Baby, Spill

There’s a certain amount of detective work that comes into play as one grows older, a connecting of the emotional dots, as it were. If you look for it, all the clues are there...

With that being said, yesterday Mr. Greengenes, my neighbor in the next building who experiments with strains for Venture Capitalist Seedsters and other Gen-tech companies itching to get into the Game, turned me on to some Steve Wynndowpain. A very strong hybrid combining not only Indica and Sativa components but may be the first human able to include a Tylenol PM and actual Epinephrine mixture. The symptoms were that I felt blinded and had the feeling of riding an elevator up and down for the whole day while abusing cocktail waitresses. So I’m really out of it today. I hope the following makes sense...

Living next to Golden Gate Park is a blessing but also a trip. Last Sunday I went out for a walk and became part of a march to end Politician’s Lying. I heard the demonstration had no ending...Can you imagine having to take a knee before Sarah Palin? Can you imagine what it would be like to have to ask for forgiveness from Sistah Sarah like that poor hacker has to do? Can you imagine anyone less compassionate than her? How about all those Miss America contestants that have done wrong and have to go into an office all alone, asking forgiveness from Donald Trump...This is why I don’t like to leave the house...It’s so weird out there...What passes as moral judges...

First the oil derrick done blown up and then disappeared into the setting sun and the deep blue sea. Oops, sorry...Someone forgot to turn off the spigot before it went Ka-booey. Now an oil slick the size of Delaware is slouching towards New Orleans and the Gulf...Delaware, home of all the Insurance companies except those in Omaha? Could there be a correlation between unctuous oilmen and an insurance industry that is so slick, we can’t stop them? The slick couldn’t have come at worst time for our president as he reaches out across the schism that called the Republican Party. Let’s see, we have guns in our parks and now 10-40 waiting to be skimmed and bottled, once those pesky fishes let go of their selfish oily coats. No one wonder Mitch McConnell smiles more than Spicoli coming out of a van after the 4:20 call.

Oh yeah, Chernobyl’s knocking again. You remember Chernobyl? It was that big nuclear accident that happened some twenty years ago somewhere else that we didn’t pay too much attention to because, well, it didn’t happen here. If you remember the fix was to cover the reactor plant with concrete. Really. Just pour a lot of Readi-mix over the gaping, smoulding hole, and we should be okay. Well apparently in the game of Rock, Reactor, Concrete; Concrete beats Reactor. There’s a place in the hills of Vegas called Yucca Mountain. This is where we store our nuclear waste. Behind concrete.

Spill, Baby Spill.

Drill, Baby, Drill.

Just don’t drill into a hot spot...Or where the concrete is thin...But don’t worry, it’s all safe, just ask Sistah Sarah...Not trying to connect anything here, M'am.


So I’ll never be able to fly again...I heard over at the Cannabis Expo that if you have a MM card, you could fly out of state with WEED in your possession. Well after talking to everyone and I’m sure Homeland Security was listening too, I found out that it is indeed against the law to fly with illegal drugs, even if you have a recommendation from some Vegan doctor South of Market.  Man, what I do for a blog...

On Fringe last Thursday, two innocent kids decide to blaze up near an old warehouse where unbeknownst to them, shape-shifters are bridge and tunneling over through a fourteenth or fifteenth dimension. Unified String Theory? C’mon people. Anyhoo, the kids stumble onto something they shouldn’t and let’s just say the kids are playing host to some new people, and they ain’t at a party. Anyhoo again, the detectives are doing their job trying to figure out what happened to one murdered young adult, dead in a car parked next to a vacant warehouse.   

Well the astute, hot chick detective who is not Sculley but did divorce her husband in real life last month deduces, that because the dead woman has red lipstick on and the roach found on the floor of the car does not have any traces of red on it, the detective believes there’s another person close by. A little pot logic if you ask me...

What is the Deal with the Fox channel? I watch my cartoons and a few other shows on it. Hate the news and all that the channel stands for. Yet, MSNBC, what is that? The same public opinion, only different? Then there is all those prison shows. Who gets their news from Fox? Me that’s who. From the Simpson’s and Family Guy.

If you’re keeping score...Osama Bin Laden, still free. Cat Stevens caught. This just in...Randy Quaid and his freak of wife just apprehended somewhere in Arizona for driving while not looking Amer’can enough...

What I’m Liking...

1)  Raw Papers with its little buddy, Lefties

2)  Durban Poison from Medi on Miss

3)  The Guys @ D-Tree

4)  Life After Legalization Forums

5)  The way L.A. can’t help being greedy

Reader Comments (2)

Yes msnbc may be just more opinion of a different slant, but all opinions aren't necessarily created equal and Msnbc has Kieth Oblermann, who has the sharpest tongue and is the wittiest wonk I've ever heard..... the Anti-limbaugh incarnate.


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