Jack Rikess, a former stand-up comedian, takes the edge off of the world and explains all those unexplained things in a way that will make you either laugh or cry.

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Republican Fool’s Day

Republicans aren’t stupid, they just don’t care. They don’t have to. Poll yesterday showed more and more Americans believe that our president wasn’t born here and that he is possibly a Muslim. The numbers are going up. Why you ask would otherwise sane people believe that our president really isn’t ‘Merican, even when Bill O’Reilly states he was born here and the “Birther” talk is nonsense? Because it works.

The smart money is still is betting on Obama for 2012. But the crazy money bett’n on Kenya, and I as pointed out above, being a believer of Birtherism right now is like hitting a fixed Vegas slot-machine.

As we saw this week when Donald Trump threw his rug into the ring on ‘Meet the Press’ ‘The View’, he opened with how unsure he was about Obama being born here and in the same breath literally mentioned that he wasn’t even sure that he was a Christian. This one-two punch is the modern form of filing fee for entry into contemporary politics.

Does Donald Trump really think he can be president? Hell, no. But The Donald can smell a revenue stream like an old man with a divining rod. “There’s money to be made in them ignorant hills.” So as soon as Mr. Trump is done firing a gaggle of B-listers, he says he’s ready to straighten his hair and take on the challenges of running one of the largest economies in the world. Then we get to watch a rich guy get richer.

Take a look at Mike “Aw Shucks Huck” Huckabee. Preacher/ bass player/talk show host. Before the Huckster entered politics he was a regular guy with some folksy down home wisdom that for a couple of seconds, even played on the Democratic side. He seemed to occupy some of that middle-ground that the late John McCain used to preside over before he became Uncle Cranky. But then he ran for president on the Republican ticket. Did he win? Yes!

He has that talk show. He’s part of the puppet show on Fux. He can pretend like he’s really interested in running again so much so that while his PAC takes in exploratory money, he can his campaign can pocket why he’s deciding. Big Mike is now worth like twelve times over from where he was just four years ago.

Why wouldn’t you run? What could be the downside?

The strong Republican contenders are staying away the political mine field of 2012 because they’d rather wait for better chances of success for themselves than to really care about where the country is headed. For Mitt Romney, that polished mannequin and others who are being molded and fitted with the Frank Luntz earpiece and the Kock Bros. back-hump transistor that W. had strapped on for his debates.  They wait their turn as the groomers and fluffers prepare the candidates for their eventual placement on a Republican ticket. But only when the overlord masters in the Rovian towers says so.

So the strong ponies are sitting this one out. They sit patiently in the owner’s booth waiting for a better day at the track, when the odds are more on their side.

That leaves an opening for the idealistic ones like Tim “I can’t find my own fuse” Pawlenty. That firecracker of a candidate, who because for the simple fact that he’s been married to the same women, plays hockey and has never been a member of the Klan, looks to be the golden child of the field.

 But back to my original point, it just doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter who is running to be the head of the Republican ticket, At this point in the game, it is not about winning; it’s about making money.

That trash-talker, maker of new words, Sarah Palin, you couldn’t shake her from her Facebook perch. Look at the Divine Sarah P. Saddled with all the trappings of present-day society, the reality show, lucky enough to be a commentator on Fux, being their word-can’t-find-it pundit; she’s pulling in around 12 mill a year now. That’ll put some gas in your snow machine.

Because the Republican base doesn’t care and doesn’t have a memory, at this point, they just want someone white. It could even be a woman.

The Republican base is the reason this country is where we are.

Apparently all the problems we are experiencing right now, all started election night in 2008. When Barak Obama was elected, the Christian god became angry. For some reason, half the population of this country believes that in three years, that soul Negro has uprooted the trees of Freedom and slid this economy into the shitter. It was all him. From the moment we elected him, it is his fault.

And the base believes this.

Haley Barbour’s proud as mud pie to be representing the state that’s fiftieth in health care. Mississippi is the forty-eighth dumbest in the nation. And Ol’ Miss is the fattest state, highest in poverty and third in the country in their porn watchin’, and Haley’s looking good.

Because it just doesn’t matter.

We’re getting ready to go back into another recession. For more than two years the Republicans on the Hill have done nothing but are against whatever Obama is for. Since our president assumed the office, their strategy has been to sit on their hands. And their base, the citizens who elected these politicians to office. They love it. The more they do nothing, the happier the base is.

Imagine going to work and half your co-workers decide to sit these next couple of years out, and still get paid and being able to collect their health insurance. You’re doing your job and they’re sitting down, checking out YouTube on the company’s computer. Every once in a while they stick their lumpy heads up to tell you what you’re doing wrong. They’re biggest complaint is that you should have more help and then they go back to watching a cat playing piano.   

I really don’t know who the Republicans are any more. The past Republican presidents have expanded government and have intruded into the American homes as much as their Democratic counterparts. The Republicans seem to be for something, but it is a secret. I know what they’re against, but they won’t say what they’re for.

And it just doesn’t matter.

In America today you quit your job halfway through it and still are seen as a contender for the highest position in the land. You can divorce your previous two wives, one while she’s in a coma and another through email. You can be in the Klan.

But what you can’t do…is to be black. Otherwise, what is it about this president that makes half the population think he’s different? That he’s not from here. What is it?

Tell me something the Republicans have done in the last five years that hasn’t involved reversing a policy or changing an existing law. What have they done for this country?

 Oh yeah, it just doesn’t matter.

It’s Obama fault.


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